Aud Lang Syne: A Covid Ode

A stable of New Year’s celebrations, Aud Lang Syne translates to “old long since”. The Scottish folk-melody begins with a rhetorical question, “should old acquaintance be forgot and brought to mind?”. The answer is certainly not — for the literary device functions to bring the listener’s attention attention to the events and pleasures of the previous year.

This year, I’ll be raising a glass alone to 2020, not thinking of acquaintances or “the seas between us braid hae roar’d” for three vacations had to be cancelled. Behold, a Covid Aud Lang Syne — a longing for things that seem too old long since.

Should travel plans be forgot

And never brought to mind?

Should travel plans be forgot

And days of auld lang syne?

Go wash your hands, my dear

Now go wash your hands

We’ll take a cup of Airborne yet

For days of auld lang syne

Tried to bake sourdough, herb, and rye

Shit, I hate washing pans

Paleo diet is gone; infections on the rise

Now, go wash your hands

Did I mute myself on that Zoom call?

At least my language suggests I am not a fan

Eyes, neck, and back are super strained

Now, go wash your hands

Go wash your hands, my dear

Now go wash your hands

We’ll take a cup of Airborne yet

For days of auld lang syne

Lululemon has become our daily wear

I have forgotten how to wear real pants

$150 nylon bottoms in every hue

Now go wash your hands

Watching hour upon hour of Netflix’s best

“Are you paying attention?” the teacher demands

They’re in Ozark or the Kingdoms of Westereros

Now go wash your hands

Go wash your hands, my dear

Now go wash your hands

We’ll take a cup of Airborne yet

For days of auld lang syne

Go wash your hands, my dear

Now go wash your hands

We’ll take a cup of Airborne yet

Now, wash your hands